Competitors of the Italian Variety
by PrussianAwesomeness
Summary: Kiku realizes that Lovino and Feliciano are similar when they play cards together. T for language.


Kiku reached for the next card, his eyes darting over each face, glancing at the card as fast as he could before handing it over to Roderich.

"This is fun~!" Feliciano said enthusiastically as he passed the card to his brother, Lovino. Kiku glanced at Lovino, only to see him stick his tongue out. Kiku blinked and did the same. Their eyes met and Lovino smirked.

Feliciano had been chattering on at Roderich as he passed cards towards Lovino, not even noticing that the other boy was no longer even looking at the cards, just pushing them aside. A chuckle managed to escape Kiku before he could hold it in and Feliciano stopped mid-sentence, sticking his tongue out.

All eyes fell onto Roderich, who was staring at his cards with such intensity, Kiku was sure they were going to burst in flames, or something bizarre like that.

Roderich looked up.

"Ve~ Roderich lost!" Feliciano proclaimed triumphantly as Roderich sighed, realizing he had lost. The Austrian scowled as Lovino laughed, the Italian throwing his cards to the center – revealing four Jacks.

"Can we play President now?" Feliciano asked eagerly, gathering up the cards and attempting to shuffle them.

"Sure – it's more fun anyways," Kiku agreed, handing Feliciano his cards.

"Whatever. Are you gonna ask Lizzie and Vash if they want to play?" Lovino asked, jerking his head towards the two blondes, who were with a group of other people.

"I don't think they want to play," Feliciano said uncertainly. "Oh well – let's play anyways!" he said anyways, dealing the cards out quickly.

"Who's got the three of clubs?" Lovino asked, scowling at his cards. He probably had a bad hand, Kiku supposed.

"I do," Roderich said, tossing the card to the middle. It was Feliciano's turn, and he put out a five of hearts. After Feliciano was Lovino, who burned the card with a five of diamonds, starting the new pile with a nine of spades. Kiku put his own card on top of that and just like that, it was Roderich's turn, the circle starting all over again.

It wasn't until the fifth round when Roderich was down to one card, Feliciano at three, Lovino with six and Kiku with five.

Roderich threw down his last card after Kiku put down a Queen, smiling in victory.

"Bastard," Lovino muttered under his breath. Roderich chose to ignore it.

Feliciano threw down a King. Kiku frowned; he didn't have any cards higher than that. He supposed he could use his two, but did he really want to use something that valuable? He decided to wait and see what Lovino would do before deciding anything.

Lovino scowled, staring at the card. "Motherfuckers," he swore out loud, "I can't go on that."

Kiku sighed. "I pass too," he replied.

Feliciano grinned happily, shoving the card aside and putting down a ten of clubs. Lovino smirked and threw down another ten, burning it. He put down three sixes, smirking as Feliciano and Kiku made noises of protest [but really, more like when Feliciano made a noise of protest, Kiku just sighed a little and decided not to let it get to him]. As no one else could go on that, Lovino pushed the card aside and put down two sevens. He had finished all his cards, putting him at vice president.

"Fuck yeah," he cheered, smirking as Feliciano pouted. At the end of that game, it was that Kiku was bum, Feliciano vice-bum, Lovino vice president and Roderich president. They shuffled and handed out the cards again, giving their lowest or highest cards up to whoever they needed to give it to and the game was back on.

Kiku really should've realized that the Italian brothers were not your average competitors.

It was the middle of the game and Roderich was down to three cards, Feliciano at three as well, Lovino at five and Kiku at six.

Roderich had just put down a double five. Feliciano passed on his turn and Kiku supposed that the cheerful boy didn't have anything higher than what was already on the table.

Lovino stared at his hand and back at the deck.

"Are you going to play or not?" Roderich asked, sounding a little irritated. Lovino glared at him.

"Hold on, lemme get the card," Lovino replied, awkwardly attempting to pull out a two. Feliciano leaned backwards to look at his brother's hand.

"Lovi~! You should put those two sixes down – you know Roderich's going to win anyways. You'd just be wasting your two," he instructed in a stroke of sudden intelligence. Lovino blinked at his younger brother and shrugged; the kid had a point. He threw down his two sixes.

"Can you go?" Lovino asked Kiku, who shook his head regretfully. He had a feeling that he would be bum again, but he didn't really mind. He was actually humming along to a Japanese song on his mp3 player, not really into the game at all.

"I can't go either," Roderich admitted and Feliciano beamed.

"I can~!" Feliciano said cheerfully, throwing down a two, burning the cards. He threw down his final two cards, a pair of eights and threw his hands up in the air in jubilation.

Kiku smiled at Feliciano's enthusiasm, before noticing the look on Lovino's face.

Lovino gaped in shock at the cards on the table. "You…_bastard_! You fucking bastard!" Lovino yelled. Roderich hid a smile as Feliciano turned to look at his brother in confusion.

"What did I do?" Feliciano asked innocently, cocking his head to the side.

"YOU FUCKING TRICKED ME!" Lovino yelled furiously. Feliciano looked astonished.

"I didn't mean it!" he cried out in horror.

"Well, from everyone else's point of view, it does look like you tricked your brother into not burning the pile with his two so you could put down your two and win president," Roderich pointed out.

"Ahh I'm sorry!" Feliciano cried out as Lovino shot daggers at him with his eyes.

Just then, before Lovino could say anything in reply, a rather loud kid from the table beside them, shoved the table away from him, not realizing that Lovino had been leaning against the corner.

"MOTHERFUCKER," Lovino howled, clutching his side. The boy burst out laughing at Lovino's reaction, the look of mirth on his face turning to horror when he realized that he had actually hurt the Italian boy.

"SERENDIPITY!" Feliciano cried out and Kiku supposed that that must've been code word for something as a random girl from nearby leapt to her feet and chased the boy out of the cafeteria, trying to slap him.

"Are you okay?" Lizzie asked, rushing to Lovino's side, shooting Roderich a glare as he tried to stop laughing.

"Shit, balls, cocksuckers, motherfuckers, CUNTS," Lovino yelled, massaging that side, looking murderous. Vash and Lizzie covered their mouths to keep from laughing as Lovino continued to spew out swear after swear. The swearing only stopped after Feliciano meekly suggested they play another round of President and distracted Lovino long enough to make a scathing remark about how Feliciano better not try tricking him again.

Feliciano found himself enduring Lovino's wrath for the entire game, wincing as Lovino became bum and glared at him. Kiku had a feeling that Feliciano would be receiving hell about this for days afterwards.

As the cards were dealed out for a new round, Kiku saw Lovino lean forwards and smirk at his brother. "You know, since I'm nice – I'm not going to yell out your cards and ruin your hand," Lovino said sarcastically.

Feliciano turned to face his brother and Kiku could suddenly see the resemblance in the brothers. "You yell out my cards and I'll cut you up into little tiny pieces," Feliciano growled, his voice still at that normal high pitch. Lovino blinked at him and laughed lightly, oddly unfazed by this darker Feliciano.

"He has a seven, a Queen, a King," Roderich began to say in a bored voice, making Feliciano realize that when he had turned around to glare at his brother, he had shown Roderich all his cards.

"Don't spoil my cards!" Feliciano shrieked, hitting a surprised Roderich, Lovino's laughter almost egging him on. Kiku stared at the two brothers in horror.

Putting the volume on his mp3 higher, Kiku decided that it'd be better to just keep playing and ignore the brothers' antics.

It'd be safer for him, anyways.

* * *

**A/N: Aha, just a little stupid one-shot I wrote in January. Everything that happened in this story happened in real life - I was Lovino and I had been playing cards with my Feliciano, Kiku and Roderich when all of the above happened. Actually, all of Lovino's lines are stuff I actually said in real life. I do indeed have a very dirty mouth 8D My Feliciano apparently uses "serendipity" as a code word to slap some random boy whenever he gets too annoying, yeah I find that weird too xD**

**Review?**


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